This is going to be a super vulnerable post for me. Kind of like one of those times when you needed to tell your parents something but you were really shy so you backed yourself into a corner, put your head down, and whispered what you needed to say.

If you follow me on Facebook or Instagram at all, you would have seen a post I made yesterday about not having my shi*t together. I wanted to take the opportunity to share why. Not because I want you to think better of me, but maybe there is something you identify with in my story. Maybe it will give you encouragement and hope.

So here’s the thing, I’ve been in a learning curve over the past six months where I’ve been observing how most things in life follow a cyclical pattern. I eluded to this cyclical pattern in my recent series  “Your Period is Amazing“.  There is a circle dance to life; Fr. Richard Rohr tackles this subject in depth in his book “The Divine Dance”. I highly encourage the read!

There is a breathing in and breathing out pattern to life. We inhale; we exhale. Something new comes in; something old must leave. This is the mystery of life.

Take a deep breath in. Before you let it out, hold it. Hold it right there. Feel what that feels like to hold your breath. You finally get to a point where you feel like you’re going to explode, right? Your body forces the exhale or you’re going to have problems. You took in that new, life giving oxygen and your body needed to exhale that carbon dioxide, that waste. The things that are no longer serving us need to exit.

That’s where I’m at, you guys. A few months ago, I took a massive deep breath in and inhaled a new way of being and living. I’m a little bit private about some of the details of my life, but let’s just say I committed to following some of my dreams. Inhale taken in. But the exhale hasn’t happened.

So right there. When we decide to grow and expand as humans, we take in that new way of thinking and living. And it’s life giving and exciting. Until our systems start to use that new oxygen, that new way of living. Our life metabolizes that newness and at some point we have to get rid of the waste. And what is the waste? It’s the old way of thinking and being. Eventually those old things have to go. That’s the exhale.

But I strongly believe there is a divine tension that occurs between the inhale and exhale that has to build, and build, and build until we are forced to exhale. We won’t survive unless we exhale.

And I’m about to exhale. The tension has been mounting for weeks now. It’s getting to the point where my dreams won’t survive if I don’t exhale. And here’s a side note. This is where most of our dreams die. We know we are going to have to exhale and let get of those things that don’t serve us any longer; we’re going to have to get healing. But it’s uncomfortable. Sisters and brothers, gather in for a minute. This is precisely the moment that we can’t give up.

This is the time that you need to open yourself up to the depths of change and healing that you need. Let go of those things that don’t serve you any longer. Open yourself up to God and ask for that next step if you’re stuck. Ask for help. You can’t do this on your own.

It’s uncomfortable, this somewhere in-between. We aren’t what we were, but we aren’t yet what we are going to be. It’s like a caterpillar in a cocoon. It goes through a highly barbaric process to become a butterfly. Their bodies are enzymatically digested as the essence of who they are (think stem cells here) is turned into something completely new. Come on now. Isn’t that what happens with us?

And once that new life is formed, it must go through a birthing process. You can destroy a butterfly if you pull it out of it’s cocoon too soon. It’s painful but they need to go through that teeny tiny opening to have the water squeezed out of their lungs and wings so they can fly when they’re revealed.

It’s the same with us. If we rush that “somewhere in-between” process, our dreams may die. Stay with it, my friends. Stay with it. Stay with the pain and tension and discomfort. Open yourself up to the healing that you need.

And I believe, I truly believe, we’ll all see a miracle in our lives.

Love and beauty as you start a new week.




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